Written Friday, May 12 2017

I find the question “what do you plan on doing with your career?” just as frustrating as “when will you get a husband?”

Both assume that I even want those things. Because, in our society you can either aspire to be a wife and a mother OR a workaholic CEO pantsuit woman. Apparently, you cannot be both and you also cannot be neither. 

I wish I would answer both those questions with “kindly get your big witch nose out of my fucking business, Geraldine.” But I don’t. 

I stutter away reeling off random things I’ve made up about wanting to go back and study or considering changing fields completely. The truth is that I don’t actually know and to be honest I don’t actually care.

Unfortunately, I can provide no statistical evidence of the following statement, it is purely based on my opinion only but I think if someone was to survey people who work 50+ hour weeks on what they would rather be doing they would say something along the lines of “waking up late, spend time outside, seeing friends and family, getting the creative juices flowing, travel, relax, spend 10 hours a day watching one TV show – pretty much whatever I felt like doing at that moment.” 

Then I would cackle and be like THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT I DO. All the time! I do what I want to do, when I want to do it. I have next to no responsibilities. I like my job. I’m not on welfare. I don’t bother anyone with my excessive leisure. I just enjoy myself. 

And some people may look down on me for that. I have had first hand experience in disapproval from other people who have absolutely no fucking right to tell me what to do. I once had a man laugh in my face and say “good luck with that” when I told him where I studied at University. I have had people remind me how difficult the film industry is and that it probably won’t go well for me. I had a woman say to me (at my grandpa’s funeral might I add) “Please tell me a ‘barista’ isn’t what you’re going to be your whole life.” With the sort of expression that seemed as though I had just told her I lick the dishes to clean them at work. 

I wish I could comically pull big red neon letters blinking ‘FUCK OFF’ out of my pocket every time someone patronises me. 

Being rich doesn’t really interest me. I don’t like big houses. The only thing I could tell you about an expensive car is what colour it was. I often spill red wine all over myself and would never wear some sort of golden dress spun from the silk worms of the Himalayas for that exact reason. I don’t want nice things, I don’t need nice things – stop trying to force your materialistic views onto me. 

I want a job where I work with kind people and do things that ideally are productive for society, entertain people and/or help them. I would like enough money so I could live in a house and have 25 different species of animals living there. I want to probably rent a house that when you walk in it’s like you’ve stepped into an alternate dimension where the outside is the inside like the club on ‘Night at the Roxbury.’ I want enough money to be able to explore different countries and places. That’s pretty much it. 

And for some reason, I end up feeling bad about that. Even from the pressure I put on myself. That if I’m not currently working towards a successful career then my life isn’t really worth living. And I have to remind myself that I don’t have to be like that. 

If I was to find myself mangled in a freak accident and had time to consider what I have done with my life before I died alone, I would be happy it. I’ve met some amazing people, I’ve been in love, travelled, created, learned… 

I would not be lying there thinking about all the hours I worked on my career. Because I would also be dead soon and didn’t even need a career anyway. 

So before I fall down an elevator shaft and die, I would like to continue spending my time doing whatever I wanted. This includes telling people who make me feel worthless to hop on the next flight to the surface of the sun and Fuck Off. 

Some piccies I took for SHE-SHIRT

Groovin ' the Moo Revoo

Groovin’ the Moo prides itself on being a regional festival that gives small towns all around Australia a fair go. It’s a great way to bring thriving business into Bendigo, with Airbnb’s and surrounding camping grounds absolutely chockas. Banners advertising GTM flap around in anticipation weeks before the event as the town gears up for a big weekend. It proves to be huge, as local pizza places were forced to leave their phones off the hook in response to the tidal wave of orders they received the Friday night before. 

People come from far and wide to celebrate a Victorian festival, for once, not being in Melbourne. The irony of the situation is a large percentage of punters are actually from Melbourne. This becomes evident as I drive my tiny red car through the convoy of party buses down the Calder Fwy. Their engines run on pure excitement for the day ahead, the occupants obviously ecstatic that they’re allowed to stand up while the bus is moovin’. What a wild ride!

The people smart enough to arrive before 1pm experienced a smooth and painless entry into the festival. Yet, arriving just after the gates open is always the tiniest bit bleak. The bands unlucky enough to be put super early on the bill play to a crowd the same size of the line for a souvlaki at 4pm. This didn’t get in the way of a magnetic set by Slum Sociable though; Miller Upchurch’s vocals soar over the hum of the arrival of the crowds, drawing them in closer.

It was a sluggish wait for the first round of drinks as we waited patiently in line. After a while, I realise we aren’t moving anywhere because people tend to let themselves into the cue where ever they felt like it, not necessarily in order of arrival. Disappointingly, it appears that festival etiquette is not high on the menu for some. But this wait did allow for some magnificent people watching time, as I counted 4 Native American headdresses in total.

I scoped out the general festival layout that is essentially the same as the previous years I have attended GTM. The Plot stage was secluded from the rest of the festival and indoor. The stage was cornered off with a marque that was decorated with some vines on the roof, which gave it the feel of a rich person’s 21^st birthday party. With a multitude of DJ’s spinnin’ decks throughout the whole day, partygoers can easily get stuck at the Plot Stage for hours.   Unfortunately for underage punters, the Plot stage is hidden deep within the over 18’s section. So you can imagine my surprise when two young children who were definitely under the age of 11 join me on the dance floor.  I think their dad was escorting them around; either that or they were just two very tiny dancers about to cut some sick shapes.

There was a bit of a set mess around after Tash Sultana’s cancellation, with Amy Shark having to change to the Cattleyard Stage. With the switch, I managed to see the last of Alex Lahey’s set with “You Don’t Think You Like People Like Me,” which is an incredibly catchy song to go out on, so much so that I found myself singing it throughout the day.

People hid under umbrellas as the sun peaked the day’s temperature. I began to regret my abundance of jackets and scarves, I had learned the hard way in the year’s prior that the weather at GTM can be very unforgiving as soon as the sun goes down. Yet, many welcomed the warmth as they were dressed in outfits that were appropriate for a festival in the January heat. I shook my head at them like an old grandma disapproving of her grandchildren’s style.

The sunshine added to an overall frolicsome atmosphere. It’s early in the day, everyone’s in a good mood and ready to see some kickass performances from their favourite bands. Girls are screaming and hugging their friends like they’re soldiers that have just returned from war, there’s a guy in a Hawaiian shirt passed out on the ground already. Feels like Groovin’

Northeast Party House burst onto the Moolin Rouge stage with “Heartbreaker.” I begin uncontrollably bopping in excitement. This marks my first dance session, which I will continue for the next 8 hours. Northeast Party House performs an outrageously fun set that had everyone in motion. The lead singer Zac calls upon everyone who has a girlfriend or a boyfriend and or is single to raise their hand as he announces “This ones For You” and everyone goes nutzo. It’s a real feel good song, and as most popular single of their most recent album “Dare,” it’s the tune that gets the crowd going. With the added effect of the confetti cannons, it was virtually impossible to wipe the smile off my face.

Architects were to follow with a total change of pace. I’m not sure what percentage of the crowd was aware that they were about to get amongst a metal band. It definitely smacked them straight in the face with a roar from the vocalist, flashing strobe lights and the intense strumming of electric guitars. I fancied myself more of a chilled vibe, so I stomped my little gumboots back over to the Plot stage…. which was equally just as hectic.

Kinder dropped a remix of Drinkee by Sofi Tukker and I just really was not prepared for these sort of earth shattering bangers at 2 o’clock in the afternoon. The mood was encapsulated perfectly by a guy throwing an invisible fishing line into the crowd and struggling to reel the catch back in, he yells “What a massive TUNA!” which just spoke to me on many levels. But yeah, if you haven’t seen them, keep an eye out for Kinder, the effervescent sister act from Sydney.

The Plot fills up with an influx of new spectators who, I realise, are just trying to escape the rain. During a quick rain interval, I decide to brave the toilet line. Toilets are usually a point of contention between organisers and punters; the problem being there is never enough. After waiting 40 minutes, I was finally free. The good thing about Groovin’ is the intimacy of the festival grounds allows optimal artist viewing. I attempted to make my way over to the Moolin Rouge stage again but trying to walk against the current of the people entering the over 18’s section is nearly impossible, I felt like Simba when he falls into the wilderbeest stampede in the Lion King.

I arrived just in time to catch the end of Slumberjack who delivered a trap shakedown then peaking with an old favourite; the Weeknd’s ‘The Hills.’

Next up was Loyle Carner, who was super impressive. Especially with his injection into the music scene, he's only just released his first album and he's already touring in Australia. Disappointingly, the crowd sort of thinned out at the beginning of his set. I think he just isn’t well known enough yet, but he was able to capture the crowd’s attention and keep the hype even though his tunes are quite relaxed. 

Around this time, we were treated to a pink cloud display as the sun began to set. A lot of Violent Soho merch started popping up through the crowd as the temperature dropped down to 6°C and they were the only band selling jumpers.

Another good way to warm up is to dance your butt off, which is what I did during George Maple’s explosive set. I could see how much fun she was having as she flung her silver coat around viciously to her opening track “Sticks and Stones.” Her set was definitely a highlight for me. Unfortunately, she was competing with the headliners on the other stage, as was Hayden James and Dillon Francis. I’ve always flocked more to the electronic/dance vibe so I was having fun using up as much space as I could anyway.

Dillon Francis was an unlimited danceathon and a satisfying way to polish off a long day. The Moolin Rouge tent was packed to capacity for the last 25 minutes of the festival after Violent Soho finished. There was a real community vibe pulsating from the crowd towards the end. Dillon Francis was a climactic crescendo to a tremendous festival experience. 

On the drive home, I passed many of the same party buses I had seen before. Inside, exhausted punters appreciate the warmth of the heater and lay sprawled out over the seats. As I reflect on the day, I realised that what struck me most was the friendly energy shared between artists, friends and strangers alike. It’s that welcoming atmosphere that will draw me back for GTM 2018.  

A review of Groovin' The Moo Festival Bendigo 2017 for SYN